Things Your Friend Doesn’t Tell You about Your Spouse

Source:Sally (via flickr)

 

When you write an article that’s related to relationship like this one, you are bound to receive a lot of topic-specific emails or comments with many people wanting to learn more about relationship issues. In a weekly magazine that I write for, I do receive numerous enquiries regarding my opinion on relationship column. Most of these emails are about genuine relationship concerns while some are outright gross.
Recently, I did receive an email from a lady who enquired whether it was appropriate to inform her friend that her husband was secretly cheating on her. The lady claimed to have enough evidence-though she did not elaborate. I was tempted, in fact compelled by my natural instinct to tell her to proceed and reveal it to the friend (I mean, that’s precisely what I would do if I was in her shoes). Furthermore, that’s what I would expect of my best friend to do for me.
The Burden of Truth
It dawned on me that the ‘telling it out’ to the friend was not as simple as it sounds. For one, you need to provide tangible evidence. So what was it? Did the lady find her friend’s husband with another woman sipping a drink? She would also be asked to provide evidence if she saw them walk into a lodging or, whether she saw them holding hands. Talk of walking the tight rope-this is it!
Well, perhaps she saw them holding hands; so what? Have you at any one time felt like the best way to communicate a point effectively would be through some kind of body language? (Forgive me because that sounds as lame as a duck-even to me) although holding hands is never counted as evidence unless the body language proves otherwise.
Di you say you saw them enter a lodging? Now, come to think of it; seeing them walk into a pub or lodging isn’t so cool, but maybe they were going to meet a friend who is an employee in that lodging or perhaps they were going to meet someone to seal a deal on a business opportunity.
Mind-Boggling Swivels
You know as much as I do that many things do take place in a lodging-good and bad, including illicit sex. Or do you still insist that seeing them taking a drink is enough evidence? I am inclined to say no. According to me, the most innocent of the three alleged evidence is having a drink. For one, there may have been a third party involved who was yet to arrive or had already left the scene. Furthermore, do you know of anyone who has never shared a drink with somebody of the opposite sex who’s not necessarily a lover or a prospective one?
Sampling evidence in such matters is an extremely delicate affair. You need to nap them in the act or capture them on camera while at it. There are a number of reasons for this:
  • Word for word: If and when asked to table evidence, it will be your word against his.
  • Change of heart: Your good friend may opt to support her husband for two reasons: One is because she trusts her man and secondly, she might conclude that girls are malicious. For these reasons, your friend may decide to dump you in the ‘malicious recycle bin’.
  • Intruding Suspect: Your friend might actually suspect you of being jealous of her marriage and that you want to scuttle it. If she does, that would surely be her husband’s defense stronghold when confronted.
One thing that’s very crucial to consider prior to breaking the news to her is-with or without tangible evidence you should be ready to end your friendship-yes, with your best friend. After all, the truth will certainly set you free; although that new-found freedom might set you free- away from your dear friend.
Some people around you may not believe that you were the bearer of the bad news. Since they are just but human (bound to err), they have to look for somewhere to direct their anger. That “somewhere” might turn out to be you. They may not hate you then, but later on and every time they see you, they will be reminded of a bad incident in their lifetime. Surely, it won’t be business as usual anymore.
Try recalling a relationship which you thought was abusive. Ever wondered why some people still go back for more? To all of us, is it really an easy option to make while someone is making hell out of your life? I tend to be inclined to believe this: That whenever two individuals have shared a bed for quite some time, it would be next to impossible to separate them. So, if your best friend chooses to side with her husband in the “threesome”, will you feel comfortable sticking around when they get… mmm… lovey-dovey?
Lastly, if you choose not to tell even when armed with concrete evidence, what friend would you make of yourself? Will you be comfortable living with yourself and with the truth well within you?  I do not have a straight answer at this juncture.
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Facts About Jubilee Party Come 2017 Polls

Once Sub-Sahara’s most successful economy, Kenya will have to ask itself a long-avoided question: What kind of Kenya should really exist? When President Uhuru Kenyatta and his deputy talked about restoring Kenya’s growth rate to a single digit, they in effect were confessing to a canonized 21st –century vision of using state resources to command respect. Today, a number Cabinet Secretaries are riddled with corrupt deals while they still fly the national flag on their official vehicles.

Source: State House Kenya via flickr
Whether Kenya re-emerges as a great economy may well be determined by Raila’s Cord campaign to revive its smart side. Kenya’s humiliating reliance on agriculture is like Noah’s Ark; all our ideas of survival and hope are pinned on it. That said, what portends of UhuRutto administration for all its inefficiencies? The following are sure recipes that would guarantee Jubilee’s onward dispatch to Limbo:
  •   CORD: If Raila Odinga opts to change tact for real, he should reveal all that he knows about Rutto’s fixation claim. He will surely have the DP on his camp, come 2017.
  • Marriage of Convenience: It is an open secret that president Uhuru Kenyatta and his tribesmen are willing to tolerate Rutto’s presence as long as the Rift Valley voting basket remains theirs to keep. However, the moment Uhuru decides to accommodate a clique of sycophants around him; Rutto will be out and running-and with it, the Rift Valley vote.
  •  Lost: Already, the teacher’s vote is lost and lost for good. Civil servants in various counties are receiving their monthly dues late-discontent is building up inside-its lead will catapult in 2017
  •    Impunity: Shameless legislators keep on whetting their appetite with hefty allowances and retirement benefits for themselves while the state says it has no enough money to pay teachers. Tension keep mounting
  •  Brain-drain:  Exodus of professionals wanting to go to other countries is overwhelming foreign embassies in Nairobi. Brain drain-you may call it. You only need to see the queue at the US embassy in order to appreciate the weight of this issue. You bet none of those in the queue will be wearing a smile; it is prayers and more prayers because for one, securing a visa to the US for instance,  is harder than trying to walk to heaven on foot. Phew! What kind of Kenya should really exist?
  • Raila Amolo Odinga: He should and must change tack. Odinga’s onslaught against Jubilee ought to be realistic and to the point. He should avoid the old jargon of kitendawili, ng’ev ng’ev or such other quips. Kenyans, lay and elites alike would really want to know what actually transpired to warrant the government to run broke.
  • The ICC Factor: If Raila and indeed anyone within the CORD fraternity can help to proof that the DP was actually fixed by his boss, then that would be a big plus to CORD-come 2017 political realignments.

 

Accepting this need and admitting that it requires joint action and responsibility from CORD; Raila Odinga would be going against the grain but in the direction of sense and sensibility. This and a vanquished Jubilee-on its way to political Limbo!

Kalonzo Musyoka Chickens out of 2017 Presidential Race: Prefers to Be a Sweeper


Kalolonzo Musyoka’s declaration that he would rather take a sweeper’s offer at state house rather than contest against Raila Odinga gave meaning to one of the most quoted observations by Steinbeck John that ‘a journey is like a marriage. The definite way to be wrong is to think you can control it’
source:By Mwaura via Flickr
Just five years ago, Kalonzo Musyoka was enjoying his golden moments as retired President Kibaki’s deputy.
Kalonzo had since riveted the hopes of Ukambani people with him being the community’s torch bearer on the road to State House. That hope was heralded throughout the Moi regime where Kalonzo was the favorite “good boy” to the then president Daniel arap Moi.
Following his hilarious predictions in the 2007 elections  about “kupita katikati” (passing in between) Raila and Kibaki during the contest; Kalonzo was seen as the heir apparent to inherit the reins of power after Kibaki.
Unfortunately, Kenya’s politics have since metamophorsized from dynastic patronage to competitive playing field. The politics of the day have gradually changed as are still evolving. The ‘dirty game’ is getting more silted by the day.
Kalonzo, being the good gentleman that he is, has never been tainted even in the middle of those involved in the perpetual miasma of corruption. He is a born again Christian, a factor that perhaps has contributed to his outstanding character. The author of this page is not privy to Kalonzo’s wealth hence cannot say how much he is worth.
The election of 2007 and the events that followed thereafter played into the hands of Kalonzo Musyoka. He found himself being appointed the Vice President in a concocted coalition that ruled the country until Uhuru Kenyatta took over. Based on the political realignments that are beginning to emerge, Kalonzo seems to want to retire from politics.
This is May 2017, way too far from August 2017 when elections will kick off. Yet, Kalonzo throws in the towel, long before the jostling begins.  The fact that Kalonzo for now has no elective post does not mean he is politically unviable to the people of Ukambani and Kenyans at large. He has endeared himself to many across the country.
A day in politics is too long, and many things can take place. Kalonzo’s early exit from the presidential race seems to many people as a sign of cowardice. He is not ready to fight to wade through the political murky waters.
Why should Kalonzo be willing to play second fiddle; remains a riddle to many of his supporters. Outside Ukambani, Kalonzo is perceived as Mr. Clean, particularly among the Christian fraternity but inside his wiper party, grumbling amid discontent is rife.
The people of Ukambani are now forced to look another way; in search for one who can perhaps be brave enough to fight his or her way to State House. However, the road to State House is often pegged on performance.
The current Governor of Machakos County, Mr. Alfred Mutua would have been the best fit to run for presidency come 2017. However, reactions to his performance contract as the governor shows that he’s got the right idea-politically at least. But, the political pundits in the county have been eager to see Mutua declare his stance as the political realignment season is here.
Governor Mutua is yet to put his County’s fiscal house in order, with corruption allegations coupled with perennial infighting between him, his deputy and several MCAs being in sharp focus. It remains to be seen whether Raila Odinga’s other co principal Mr. Moses Wetangula will also choose to apply for a subordinate job at State House if Rail makes it to the presidency in the coming elections.

Recently Discovered “Mirosoft Paint”could be a UFO:


Source: Daily Star

 

An odd alien-looking creature has stunned researchers and scientists and the general public alike. The researchers involved in the Deep Sea mission described the jelly fish as looking like scifi-fi movies as opposed to typical sea life.
The creature was discovered several thousands of feet beneath the water surface. Owing to its semblance of a terrestrial UFO, scientist have given it the name “Microsoft Paint”
The jellyfish with a fluorescent color has spider-like tentacles.
The findings were uncovered by scientists at National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration located in West Pacific.
A scientist say the animal belongs to a genus called Crossota and was found residing 2.3 miles deep below sea level at Challenger Deep area of Pacific.
Source: Daily Star
Challenger Deep is the lowest ebb at Mariana Trench, some 36,000 feet below the sea waters.
Due to its physical characteristics-more of artistic than real life form; the scientists gave it the name Microsoft Paint. It actually looks like something drawn using MS Paint program on your laptop.
The researchers were able to unearth this discovery with the aid of a remotely controlled vehicle.

Raila Announces Pull Out of 2017 Presidential Race: Devastating For Supporters


CORD leader Raila Odinga has come out to state clearly that he will not offer himself for the presidential race come next year’s general election.
Source: D post
An emphatic Raila Odinga told Al Jazeera TV station that unless IEBC is removed from office, it would be futile for him to participate in elections supervised by it.
At the same time Raila said he could foresee chaos as a result of biased election. His main concern was that the current IEBC commissioners are pro-Jubilee and they are bent to follow instructions from the ruling coalition.
Raila at the same time has announced that the opposition CORD and its entire membership will stage another protest outside IEBC building at Anniversary Towers on Monday next week i.e. on 9th May, 2016.
Meanwhile murmurs are rife in Kalonzo Musyoka’s Ukambani turf in regard to his scheduled meeting with President Uhuru Kenyatta. Kalonzo hinted on May 1st that he would play host to President Uhuru Kenyatta when he tours the area in the coming weeks.
It should be noted that jitters have been vivid within CORD leadership especially in regard to who their flag bearer would be-come next year (2017).
The trio, consisting of the current supremo, Raila Odinga, Moses Wetangula and Kalonzo Musyoka has individually promised their tribes that they would go for the presidency when the next general election is due. CORD’s internal reforms that were instituted recently seem to be a pointer to what the party would want to see happen ahead of 2017.
Our crew got up with some die-hard CORD supporters many of whom could not bear or even imagine that Raila Odinga would fail co contest next year’s election.
From the look of things and, based on experience, the election-supervising body; IEBC is not likely to be plugged out of office by way of street demos. The constitution spells out clearly on how such a constitutionally instituted entity can be disbanded. However, Raila knows this as much as you do. It would even be more futile to try to evict IEBC via parliamentary vote due to the tyranny of numbers that’s enjoyed by Jubilee. CORD do not want to hear such; but it is the truth.
Imagine a political scenario in next year’s election without Raila Odinga. Have your say!

Raila Odinga’s Internal Memo: Tidbits to Consider


The many ills in the UhuRuto government, many of which are visible only to Raila Odinga seem to overwhelm him most of the time. After being fed with teargas and other such airburger flavors, Raila headed to Maasai land where he urged the local resident to reject Uhuru Kenyatta and his deputy come next year’s elections.
Source : By T. Maruko via flickr

 

Although it may not be possible to overcome daily stresses, you can actually learn to manage them in an effective manner. Being overwhelmed repeatedly often lead to chronic stress. Raila has been unable to topple IEBC from office through whatever means. Now he was in Narok over this week to unleash venom and remind the Maasai of Jubilee’s unfulfilled promises. To many, Raila is apparently overwhelmed by the government’s inability to act on his concerns.
I would like to offer Raila some crucial tips that would allow him to see the beauty of life even when he’s operating under difficult circumstances. This is how”
  • ·         Tidbit One: If you cannot control the political storm, then stop trying. Calm yourself instead and the storm will pass away.

 

Your life may seem like a cyclic rat race, so do not forget to put aside some time for yourself. It is up to you to create a calm environment in you and in your home. By doing so, you ward off any stress that attempts to pierce the tranquility established within you.
  • ·         Tidbit Two: It is the norm for men to be knocked down every now and again in life. Getting up and soldering on is a choice.

 

Oftentimes, you may not be able to control what happens to you. However, you can take charge on how you react to it. Election victory was snatched from you in 2007, so you were knocked down. You do not have to remain there but let life run the show. You must get up and hit back because it is the only way you can keep moving on in life.
  • ·         Tidbit Three: If you want a peaceful life, then respond less often to negativity.

 

In order to stop being overwhelmed, perhaps the answer lies in what you usually focus on. More often than not, whatever you focus on and pay much attention to tends to expand such that it reigns in your mind most of the time. As a politician of your stature, you have the capability to create your reality. It begins with the thoughts you entertain and what you expend your energy on.
  • ·         Tidbit Four: Do not be stressed with what you have no control over. Approach life one day at a time.

 

Getting overwhelmed often implies that you are not focusing on the current issues. With or without stolen elections, you cannot change the past. You may not control the future either; but you can do your best to create a conducive experience in the present.
Meanwhile, trust yourself; you survived a lot and can withstand whatever that comes your way. When a win is missed, a landslide victory is coming.